i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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