dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
