Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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