Duck Duck Cougar?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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