he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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