nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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