did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
