Where are you?
In a non slutty way
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
