Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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