im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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