oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
