did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
