Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
