She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
