I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
