I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
