I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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