Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Send help, water and tortillas.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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