Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize