you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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