why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
only you would photoshop your dick
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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