who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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