Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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