Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
