ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
