if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Bring me that man meat
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
