That's intense
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
