Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
