im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
