are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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