I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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