She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
