No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
