Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
