bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize