Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
