did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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