Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
