please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
