At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
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