Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
