No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
