community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize