I wanna passion pit in your ass
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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