So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize