i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
