dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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