That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
