what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
