i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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