I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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