Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
