so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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