he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
