Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
