I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
