She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize