It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
