I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
