if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
