idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
