I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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