We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
