Everything about him screamed your future.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
