I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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