Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
