someone get that fucking seahorse.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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