Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Ketchup is God's man juice
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
