i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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