Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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