So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
